Wednesday, March 30, 2011

digesting

Life has been interesting - moving along just fine, with good days and not so good days, just as life is wont to do. But the undercurrent has changed over the last 5 months or so.
Some big, non-happy things happened.
(Yes, I hate it when bloggers are vague like that. The thing is, if you're close to me, you know what those things are. If you don't know what those things are, they're none of your business.)
I dealt with these things well. Stiff upper lip and all that. I was a rock. Strong. Courageous. "Sad but okay" became my motto.
(Can you see where this is going?)
 A little piece of straw has broken the camel's back. The strong rock-solid woman shell I was hiding behind has cracked, and I'm left to deal with the aforementioned non-happy things.
So I'm thinking. Digesting what has happened. Admitting to myself that I don't have it all figured out, and that I don't know what I can do to make it better (yet).
Getting stronger and more hopeful that in the end, going through this will make me a more rounded, more balanced, more relaxed, happier person.

9 comments:

Melissa Haworth said...

So sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I wondered from your tweets. Sending good thoughts....

Liz said...

Sorry for sad times :-( I was actually thinking about you this morning for some reason. You have support where you don't even realize, so there's that if it helps.

bethany actually said...

I'm still writing that reply to your email! :-)

<3

Jamie said...

oh Sonj...

I'm sorry. I can give you a hug tomorrow.

a chris said...

Sorry to hear about non-happiness. Funny how it's become natural to wonder how someone's doing if she doesn't post on her blog for a bit! Even if you're not particularly close.

Hope your strength and balance return quickly.

Snowfairy said...

This post really felt so relevant to what I have been feeling, but couldn't express. Digesting is a good description, as all living, enjoying and just being is all surrounded by a haze, like the whole of my mind isn't really paying attention but somewhere else. But at the same time putting on a face that I'm ok, when really I just want to melt.
My days generally clearer now, but the fog creeps back.
I hope you work your way through the fog.

sarah doow said...

Hope you are ok soon *Umarmung*

Lauren S. said...

those strong rock-solid woman shells do crack from time to time. hang in there friend. (Hug)

Yara said...

I'm so sorry.
I'm only a short drive away, if you need me <3