Scene 1: Motherhood Maternity
Characters: two selling-type ladies, me as the lone customer
After the typical hihowareyoudoyouneedhelpfindingsomething exchange, I settle in by the sales rack, looking for dresses. Meanwhile, the two ladies are yapping away. I hear them mention some sort of a sales quota, but can't understand details. Finally, one of the ladies comes over, holding a "bra." I'm using the term lightly, because obviously, this thing offers no support whatsoever.
sales lady (moderately excited): "This is our sleep bra"
(switching to earnest, concerned tone): "We recommend you wear a bra to bed throughout your pregnancy, because it helps prevent sagging and stretch marks."
me: ?!? "I don't think I need it. Thanks."
her: "Oh. Okay."
Women. If you don't know this yet, let me tell you now: BRAS DO NOT PREVENT SAGGING. Seriously. (link NSFW)
This was my last visit to Motherhood Maternity. This is the same chain that tried to sign me up for a credit card without telling me about it. On top of that, the clothes are poorly made. Good riddance!
Scene 2: Sears
Characters: teenaged checkout girl, second checkout girl, me
me: "I'm looking for the maternity section."
teenaged checkout girl (eyeing my belly, wrinkling eyebrows): "How far along are you?"
me (slightly irritated): "Far enough to not fit in my clothes anymore."
second checkout girl (shocked): "Why do you ask that?"
teeny girl: "I always ask! It's so cool!"
me: "Hm. Well. I'm almost half-way."
teeny (cheery): "Okay. Do you see lingery back there? Right next to it is this little section, where all the clothes look like they're for plus-sized people? That's it."
me: "Ummm, thanks."
Needless to say, I still don't own a maternity dress.