Today, I am thankful for the urinary tract infection I got.
Because it meant that I needed to go see a doctor which meant that I took the afternoon off from work which meant that I only had to spend half a day with the worst-behaved little monsters I have ever beheld. EVAHR!
You see, I got to sub in 5th grade today, in a class that had a sub yesterday as well. These children would not stop talking. They did not follow directions. People sat in other people's seats (difficult to combat when you don't know their names). The lesson plan (faxed in) neglected to mention that we were going to drama class that morning, and the kids had a hard time convincing me because, well, I don't take pre-teens with snot on their faces seriously, ESPECIALLY after they just sat in the wrong seat.
People lied and ate food that they had hidden under their tables and talked and played around and acted innocent and were absolutely obnoxious and walked funny when I asked them to bring the toy they were playing with to my desk and used paper they weren't supposed to and laughed about me and shot spitballs and talked and talked and talked.
The only reason I got through the day was that
1. I caught the spitballer red-handed and made him clean up all the spitballs
2. I knew I was leaving at lunch.
Those kids pushed me so close to the edge that I used the word HELL in class. This is not a word I usually use. It is definitely not a word an elementary school teacher should use. At least I didn't use it in a context where I told them they could go there *cough, cough* - I used it more like "...because everybody in here just does whateverthehell they want to..."
And the satisfaction? I totally ratted those little warthog-faced buffoons out to the principal. And I told him that I would never again EVAR! set foot in that class again. I told him I'd turn on my heel and go home if they sent me in there again. I told him about (and apologized for) using That Bad Word I Used so the kids wouldn't have any ammunition against me (cover your bottom 101). The office manager told me not to worry and that it wasn't my fault (ha!), and then I went home. STEAMING.
And now I'm off to pee in a cup. How's your Tuesday been?
*I hate doing that, but it was the teacher's system and I had to use it.